If you want to stay friends after a breakup, it may be hard, depending on how bad the breakup ended up. But whether it is a bad or mutual breakup, there is still hope if you want to stay friends with your ex. But remember, don’t force your ex to stay friends. If your ex doesn’t want to be friends after the breakup, then there is nothing you can do, but to move on. A friendship and relationship needs two people to make things work, so don’t force anything.
1. Setting your Boundaries from the Beginning
When you set your boundaries from the beginning, you both will understand what to say and not say. As Harris O’Malley states in his article:
“You acknowledge the awkward up front and establish early on the things you don’t want to hear about.”
As Harris mentions that after a breakup, things won’t go back to the way it was before. There will be no more cuddling, holding hands, kissing, or any form of intimacy. You both may have changed after a breakup, but the goal here is to stray away from the awkwardness. So if you set what are some things you don’t want to see/hear early on, you will get a better and comfortable friendship in the future.
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2. Unfollow/Unfriend Each Other
After a breakup, the best way is to unfollow/unfriend each other from social media. As Nicolas DiDomizio states in his article:
“Research suggests that unfriending an ex is one of the best ways to speed up emotional recovery after a breakup, likely because it allows you to navigate your social media life without triggering images or updates about your ex.”
Some may say it’s childish to unfriend/unfollow your ex on social media, but it’s definitely not. This is something that is better for your health, so you don’t see their life without you, as it may hurt you a lot.
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3. Start off Slow
You don’t want to immediately hang out like you normally would do with your girl or guy friends after a breakup. You want to start off slow, as Colin Christopher mentions in his article:
“Start with the occasional phone call or email. Once that becomes comfortable, move into face-to-face meetings once in a while for coffee.”
As Colin says that a phone call or email would be a good start, but once everything gets better and it’s not awkward anymore, then go out to a coffee shop and talk in person than just phone call or email.
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4. Respect Each Other
If your ex has found a new significant other, make sure to respect his/her boundaries. You don’t want to go messing up their new relationship because that will make you lose your ex as a friend. If the significant other welcomes you to hang out with them a lot, try to minimize the hanging out because it may still be awkward for you for awhile. But as
“However, if the new girlfriend does not want you to stay friends with her boyfriend, you should totally respect that. It is obvious that she wants to find a place in his life without you in the same picture.”
You need to respect each other as Elizabeth has mentioned, give each other space when it comes to dating again, and understand that it’s not going to be the same as you both once were.
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Conclusion
Becoming friends after a breakup is tough, but not impossible. You need to remember to set the boundaries early on, unfollow/unfriend each other if you need to, take things slow, and respect each other. Remember that it takes two people to have a healthy relationship and friendship, so don’t force your ex into a friendship if he/she doesn’t want to.
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